Ticking Clock

My life is one big ticking clock
The words in my head, just won't stop
Interruptions, artistic illusions
Cluttering my peaceful mind

Nothing's certain
Everything's a question
Although many people see
Most of them walk around half blind

I'm not gonna ask you
So please don't ask me
The answer to the question
Of life's uncertainties
I'm trying to be kind

My life's one big ticking clock
The words in my head, just won't stop

I run, I pray, I write, I play
Never knowing what cards
will get dealt the next day

Interruptions, artistic illusions
Cluttering my peaceful mind

Do you know how this will end?
I don't know the last words I'll say
I only know I'm on my way

My life's one big ticking clock
The words in my head, just won't stop

Striving and struggling
Reaching and stretching
Giving and taking
Loving and hurting
No, never hating
Believing and writing
Don't we all do this everyday?

Interruptions, artistic illusions
Cluttering my peaceful mind
My life's one big ticking clock
These words in my head just won't stop

Inspirtation, Elevation,
It's all part of God's creation
In my mind I hear such words and rhymes
And it comes spilling out of my mouth and ears;
Floating, traveling through my veins and
Finally to my hand then pen and paper;
Keyboard, Inkblood
It's all so clear

My life's one big ticking clock
And the words in my head, just won't stop

-Janie Zavala

When I go

It all comes down to when I go
I hear my heart beat very slow
Someday's I forget, and I start to fret
Thinking that you're coming home
Dinner isn't done
Oh, no my bed isn't made
And I get a feeling
It isn't very appealing
My bones begin to ache
And I feel my heart break

I'll tell you something
It's been a blast
My life went by so fast
Most days I don't remember
Faces, distant places, memories of long ago

In mostly my dreams, I feel young
I'm with you and you're with me
Our hearts beating wildly
I know even though we're apart
I can tell you we're still hand in hand
And heart to heart, loving each other
Almost back to the start

In a glimpse, I can see
The toil and tragedy
The love and pain
Of the life I lived so pleasantly
It was a gift, not a moment wasted
I'm gratefully exhausted
I seek comfort in my bed
The warm sheets around my aching feet
The comforter surrounds me
And the pillows I shape in the form of you

I forget my train of thought
I know I was in love
It seems like a dream
A dream so long ago

I'll tell you something
It's been a blast
My life went by so fast
Most days I don't remember
Faces, distant places, memories of long ago

written by Janie Zavala

I Will Not Believe-

The ghosts of the past-
Come, creeping, crawling-
Sending back memories to my head-
I tell them to leave, for I will not believe-
That they have power over me-
The ghosts of the past come-
When I can not sleep-
I tell them to go-
But they follow me into my dreams-
So I pray, Please keep them away-
I get scared- I get angry-
And in a final moment of reality-
It comes to me-
They only have power over me-
If I begin to hate-
Get angry and curse and let them run my mind-
So I send them away-
Get happy and say-
I will Not Believe that they have power over me-

Janie

Center of my universe

If I could give you the earth-
If I could rewind time-
I'd eat my words-
If I could peel pack the layers of the years gone by-
I'd give you strength-
I'd hold your hand-

You're beautiful-
You're better than me-
You're wonderful-
You're a strong oak tree-
Center of my universe-
You hold steady, while I blow wild and free-

You take a step back-
When I need some space-
You come close-
When I need a embrace-
You don't always know what to say-
But you guide me in your own way-
I never want you to let me go-
Never say no-

You're beautiful-
You're better than me-
You're wonderful-
You're a strong oak tree-
Center of my universe-
You hold steady, while I blow wild and free-

Trust is hard for me-
I'm reluctant- Always-
Trying to be strong-
Life has taught me different lessons-
You may not understand-
Yet, I need you near me-
I'm still safe in your arms-
And we have our special bond-

My strong oak tree-
Center of my universe-
You hold steady, while I blow wild and free-

written by
Janie Zavala

America Idol Anyone?

My daughter and I watch American Idol every week. I can't believe some of the things people do! It's amazing! The first thing we can't believe, is how people dress. If you're going to be in front of Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez and Randy Jackson and not to mention millions of viewers...wouldn't you dress nice? I'm just sayin'...
The tears, the very bad singing, the tears...but then someone comes along who can sing! And then Steven Tylers' eye's light up and smile creeps upon his face. I love it when he gets mad. What did he say? "Quack a duck and see what hatches?" I love it. And I love Jennifer, she just wants to give everyone a chance and she feels so bad when she has to say no. She'll turn away or tell Steven to say something. Randy can spot talent and he might have the best judgement, because he's not emotional about it. Steven and Jennifer are artists so of course we're emotional. After a good American Idol, we watch Grey's Anatomy. There are not words for it. I've been addicted to it for years. The good thing is now my teenage watches it with me. Okay that's enough talk about t.v.

Have a great day....

-Janie

Inspiration...

Life passes by so fast-
In the blink of an eye-
You make choices-
Follow and disobey some rules-
Learn and forget-
And then learn again-
Try not to take a step backward-
Always pressing on-
Forward-
Although, you may not know what lays ahead-

All we have is time-
To make memories, to keep with us in the end-
All we have are the choices we make-
To remind us to live every day as if it were our last-

Time goes by-
There's no turning back-
You've got time to burn-
I've got so much more to learn-
I'm torn apart-
Wish I could go back to the start-
I've made mistakes-
And I know you've got what it takes-
To see me through to the other side-

All we have is time-
To make memories, to keep with us in the end-
All we have are the choices we make-
To remind us to live every day as if it were our last-

Written by Janie Zavala

My head has been captured by a cold...

I apologize up front, because I feel like my head is in the clouds. I have a head cold or sinus cold. Whatever you want to call it. I haven't been writing because I haven't felt good. Plus, it was Super Bowl weekend. I have been thinking of the books I'm writing every day and I've been taking it easy so that I can get back to one hundred percent! It's Monday so I feel this need to get back to work.

I usually blog about the game the day after. I love football. It's heart, power, mistakes, perseverance, injuries, tackles, fumbles. It's life. It's life on a field. I'm alone in my house when it comes to football. No one pays attention, but me. Last year I had my niece with me and we watched it together. She's grown up now and forgotten my name....lol. Anyway, I watched it this year with my mother! Yes my mom, who knows a little about the game. She was so cute, yelling at the screen "Go Green Pack!" in her Tex-Mex accent. We both wanted to hurt "Nelson" from Green Bay. I mean can you catch a football? What was up with that! We were doing great 20 to 10 and then the Steelers scored two touch downs back to back. In the end Green Bay won with 31 and Steelers 25. It was a great game.

Two teams battling it out; the football seemed to have a mind of it's own at times. I'm from Texas, even though I left as a kid. I still have plenty of family there and it's against family rules to be for any other team, except for the Dallas Cowboys. So I dutifully wore my Cowboys jersey as did my brother, sister-in-law and I'm sure my sister wore her shirt to work. I had to root for Green Bay, because rooting for the Steelers is out of the question. Period. That would be like a betraying the Cowboys, considering their history. Also, that Aaron Rodgers is easy on the eyes! Sorry I'm a girl and he's cute! Regardless of what team you root for or where you come from. Super Bowl Sunday is a great day and it's always exciting to watch!

 I hope everyone had a good weekend. We have a new week, into the second month of a new year. From Golden Globes, to Screen Actors Guild, to Super Bowl Sunday, and now we have the Oscars! I know, I'm a blend of contradictions.

-Janie

Within my blue walls....

In my room-
Within my blue walls-
I post-
I pray-
I sometimes need help facing the day-
I write-
The Aunt, The Sister, The Daughter, The Wife, The Mother, Bill Payer, Household Maker, Nurturer, Giver....and hmmmm......writer....she's here somewhere....she's lost and found and lost again....
Within my blue walls....
She's in the eye of a storm....
If only for a moment-
She knows it will pass-
I'll wait for her to figure it out-
Within my blue walls-

-Janie