Entering the unknown

I'm holding on to my dreams
Moving steadily
I'm taking on more than I know
I'm pushing violently
I'm entering the unknown
With open eyes, taking steps
Holding on to faith
Uncertain of the outcome
Catching fire
Throwing stars
Landing on Mars

Janie Zavala
www.janiepoetry.com

Tragedy

What a weekend the world had. There is so much going on. I mourned on 9-11 Sunday and Monday morning came too quickly. I stayed up too late and woke up too early, kids went to school, rain, nightly news is full of sadness and then I watched the news special with Diane Sawyer on Jackie Kennedy. Tupak died on the 13th right in front of Ellis Island on Koval lane. It all got me thinking So much death lately, it can make one appreciate life more.

"I always wanted to be a writer or newspaper reporter, but after college I did other things" Jackie Kennedy  July 28th 1929- May 19, 1994

"A man may die, nations may rise and fall but an idea lives on"
John F. Kennedy May 29, 1917-November 22, 1963

"It's hard for me to talk about a legacy or a mystique. It's my family, it's my mother, it's my father, it's my sister. We're like any other family. We look out for one another. The fact that there have been difficulties, hardships and obstacles makes us closer" John F. Kennedy Jr.  November 25, 1960 - July 16, 1999

"I know it  seems hard sometimes, but remember one thing. Through every dark night, there's a brighter day after that. So matter how hard it gets, stick your chest out, keep your head up and handle it"  Tupak Shakur June 16-1971-September 13, 1996

For all those who lived and died, for all those who tried to make a difference in the world and felt largly misunderstood. I remember-

Janie

Trying not to lose my way-

My story is nothing new
Tragedy, hypocrisy
Love, darkness, light, laughter
Looking forward to another day
I'm trying to to lose my way
I'm a ghost walking by
A distant version of myself
I'm a story; no it's not new
I'm bruised, something borrowed
And something blue
I'm the word you don't want to say
The thought lingering in your mind
Inspirational ideology
Transformed by a new world and old philosophy
I'm trying not to lose my way
I'm a ghost walking by
Mediocrity turned to brilliant tragedy
I'm following you
You're following me
Click, send, don't press rewind, select and enter, acronyms forward
Take a stand
Don't look back
Looking for the next track
Don't worry I'm trying not to lose my way

Janie Zavala
www.janiepoetry.com

Life Can Be...

Life can be hard
Especially when you take a stand

Life can be tragic
Loving someone till the end

Life can be dull
If you look at it in black and white
Forgetting all the hues from heaven above

Life can be grand
Taking in moments
Breathing in joy

Letting go and holding on

Life is a gift, so live in the "Present"
Cause"Tomorrow" may not come
And "Yesterday" is gone
So learn from your mistakes and live for today

Life is a lesson
And it's not the grade you got
But the experience and the road you traveled on that got you there
The people you loved, the good deeds done, the laughter you imparted
The art you made, the words you said, the music you sang, the love you gave
The Forgiveness you showed

The life you lived
Life can be...whatever you make of it...
-Janie Zavala
www.janiepoetry.com

Little Girl

Little girl
You're growing up too fast
Slow down
Take it easy

Little girl
Give me a kiss on my cheek
I love you so

Daddy's girl
You're mine too

Little girl
Smile
Laugh
Skip all the way
Throw the ball
Let's play
Pretend you're a fairy
I'll catch you every time

Little girl
Time fly's by
And I h ave to cherish
Every minute
Cause you're mine
I'm so lucky to have you
To know you

I watch you and all that you are
Your character
Your laugh
Your smile
Your curiosity
Precocious beauty
Your mind takes in the world by the minute
I'm amazed by you

Running with innocence
Turn around and smile
My heart skips a beat
As I watch you go
Backpack in hand
Standing straight
Ready to face the day
Meeting friends
As you skip away

Little girl
I'll remember you
As you grow and change
With time you will discover
All the things you were meant to do
Paint me a picture
I'll treasure it so

Little girl
Don't grow up so fast
I just want to hold you
As you pull away to play
You turn to me and smile

I'll love you forever to eternity and more

Little girl
Dance
Sing
Pretend
Live with a full heart

I'll be here for you
To love you
Catch you
Hold you
Laugh with you
Play with you
And take hold of the privilege it is
To raise you
To be part of you

Little girl
Words can't describe
What you mean to me
You're a shining star
The reason my heart beats

Little girl, I'll love you forever to eternity and more-

-Janie
(For my EmmaLee)

Dreams

Dreams cna make you
Dreams can break you
Dreams of living the unexpected, the uninvited...
Pressing on, pushing past limits
Courage is living for a dream
Even when you're not sure what the outcome will be
Dreams can fill you with passion
Dreams can drain you, leaving you empty and broken
Dreams have a way of coming back; when you think all hope is gone
Pick up the pen, set up the interview, make the audition and take a chance
Because dreaming is all we have
A passion, a wish, a hope...
We live to dream and dream to live
My dreams give me courage
My stories call on me
My poetry is in my soul
Dreams

-Janie

Taken in by you

I'm home
The only real home
I've known
It's the only place I want to go

I'm taken by your beauty
Lost in your embrace
Forgiven
Loved, even with all my faults

Your tranquil ways
Calm my rough edges
No one else can help me
I'm too much to take
Nothing else matters
It's all give and take

I'm taken in by your strength
Lost in our love
Pressed to be my best
Even when I think I can't make it one more step

You look at me
I know your wondering
How this creature came into your life
I smile cause I know
there's no one else who could stand here
No one else could take your place

I'm taken in by your innocence
Lost in your simplicity
I'm learning to take it easy
It's hard, cause I want to take on the world

I'm changing
Learning
Still searching
Flowing
Breathing
My rhythm is slower
Not too far behind is thunder

I'm taken in by you
Lost in my own struggle
Letting go
Holding on
Take my hand
Nothing else matters
I'm taken in by you

-Janie
(I just made this up right now. Two new poems came to me today "Decades" I posted it on hubpages and "Taken in by you" who knows what's next...

Believe

I Believe

I believe I can make a difference

I believe love can strengthen my perseverance

When I think of all the violence that’s in this world I live in-

I want to cringe- And I try to live my life as positive as I can

As I get my kids ready for school, I listen to the news-

Violence in school, children abused, a little girl’s been kidnapped,

College students in danger, war, missiles, disease, floods, prejudice,

Ignorance, earthquakes, hurricanes, volcano’s

How much more can we take?

And I wonder where is the love?

And I tell myself- I believe I can make a difference

I believe love can strengthen my perseverance

I believe I can look to my neighbor with kindness

I believe someone can look at me and not see the color

Of my skin, but the wonderful, complex woman that I am

I believe we can be better teachers

I believe we can be better students

I believe we can be better parents, sons and daughters

I believe that with each day we can learn from one another

Teach one another, love one another, and lift each other

Up to a new level of peace and understanding

I believe with each day we can try harder and look up to the sky

And look up to the sky and ask for strength to be better

I believe I can make a difference

I believe love can strengthen my perseverance

-Janie Zavala

(Sometimes it's hard to believe- but still we have to try, because sometimes it's the only thing that keeps us going, faith, or belief in something greater than ourselves, love, forgiveness)

Saving Grace

I'm movin'

I'm tryin'

Can't get passed the fact that you're gone-

Life goes on-

That's what people say-

But what they don't say is...

How do I go on?

So changed-

So changed-

You were here one day-

And gone the next-

I want to die, crawl in that hole with you-

I know it sounds strange, bu I worry about you-

Life goes on. That's what people say-

But how do I go on?

So changed-

Forever changed-

In the blink of an eye-

I stood alone-

Had I known it was you-

What would I have done?

It was too late-

I can't let go of you-

You taught me how to live-

How can I repay you?

I blame myself-

I hate myself-

The sky was brighter-

The sun was warmer-

The rain was sweeter-

Now everythings bitter

I want to love her-

She's lying in my bed-

I hate myself-

I'm changed-

Forever changed-

-Janie
(This is from a book I'm writing)

Quiet in the chaos-

I'm surrounded by chaos
Taken in by the flying dust
Fighting to breathe
It's either make it or bust

Yet, there's a quiet in the chaos
There's a deeper meaning
I'm writing to be seen
Singing to be heard

I'm running towards the wind
Swimming upstream
Taking shots
I might not make the cut
I'm at the edge
I'll either fly or fall

Yet, there's quiet in the chaos
There's a deeper meaning
I'm writing to be read
Singing to be heard

Moving towards thunder
Struggling with myself
Confidence, anxiety
It all plays a part in my own reality
Living for a dream
Prayin' on the American Dream

Rain drops fall
Taking the dust away
The wind fades
Sunlight beams shine through broken clouds
I know they won't stay
But, I'll take away
My quiet in the chaos
It lives inside me

Cause' there's quiet in the chaos
There's a deeper meaning
I'm writing to be seen
And singing to be heard

-Janie
www.janiepoetry.com

Generation X

ha ha...do you remember how it used to be?

Parachute pants, punk rock and Motley Crue-

No cell phones, computers, or iPods-

Just to name a few-

Radio, Casey Kasem, tapes, boom box, vhs-

Before skinny jeans- We wore straight leg-

501 jeans, Guess, scrunchies, side pony tails, tie dye-

Wax on Wax off  had a profound meaning-

May the force be with you- I am your father-

Maverick and Top Gun-

Yo, Adrian always tells the truth-

Do you remember how it used to be?

Walking to school-

Waiting for the bus-

Riding in cars with boys-

Ozzy playing loudly-

Joan Jett made girls playing with guitars look cool-

Now my daughter questions me-

I have to smile as I listen to her world-

And remember my own youth-

Two worlds joined together by Madonna and Lady Ga Ga-

Generation X faces new fears-

Parenting, careers, Pilates, digital inventions and we don't know what time it is without our cell phones-

Pen and paper seem so old school-

And Molly Ringwald is the mom on The secret life of an American teenager-

I watch it every week with my daugher- Sex, Sex, Sex and more sex

What happened to just say no?

Still we take pride and point out the old school-

Dr. Dre, Ozzy and Downey became Iron Man

And I can say I was Johnny Depps first fan-

Pointing to my dvd of 21 Jumpstreet-

My daughter laughs-

Generation X

We still walk on-

See the end of something old-

And usher in the new-

I never thought I'd see-

A President who looks like me-

And the nightly news anchors are women-

Jennifer Lopez shows the world what Latinos can do-

For all the bad that we've gone through-

We still have so much to be proud of-

So much more to do-

While we raise our kids, follow football-

Basketball and the news-

Connect with old school friends on facebook-

Juggle careers, dreams, family-

We are the last who remember how it used to be-

When a boy had to knock on the door-

Or call your house phone-

And just maybe big brother answered-

Back in the day boys had to fight for the right-

To stand next to you-

No text message secretly sent-

No email, no facebook, no blog to be read-

lol? no we just cracked up-

Rad- meant cool and cool was in-

Sick just meant ou were ....uh sick?

Rock was rock-

Punk was in your face-

And Preppy was next door-

Now I decipher what my kids say-

With google and learn to talk text-

Out with the old and in with the new-

My mom has a cell phone-

Who knew?

Oh, but I remember how it used to be-

Do you?

-Janie (I'm old...and you might be too) :)

These days-

These days
I'm running
I'm  racing with time
Stretching to find...my place

In these days I will do my very best
and put my patience to the test

These days are going by fast

In the night, when I can not sleep
Within the most hidden walls
of my subconscious mind

I imagine that I am there
At the top of the many obstacles
I have to climb

These Days

These Days, I hope to remember
These Days I know I will treasure

These Days

-Janie
:) Live, Love, Laugh, Create, Make a change and a difference...
www.janiepoetry.com

Sometimes...

Sometimes love is a question-
Sometimes it's a lie-
Sometimes it makes you cry-
Or it can give you an incredible high-

Sometimes love makes you see things
with nothing held back-
Sometimes it smothers and just when
you think you can't take anymore
It leaves you yearning for more-

Sometimes love is steady-
Sometimes it makes you give
till you can't give anymore-
It makes you crazy, a bit hazy-

Sometimes, yeah sometimes-
Love is worth living and dying fore

Sometimes-

-Janie
please visit www.janiepoetry.com for more...

Life can be...

Life can be hard
Especially when you take a stand

Life can be tragic
Loving someone till the end

Life can be dull
If you look at it in black and white

Life can be grand
Taking in moments, breathing in joy, letting go and holding on

Life is a gift, so live in the "present"
Cause' tomorrow may not come
And yesterday is gone, so learn from your mistakes
And remember lessons learned and live for today

Life is a lesson
And it's not the grade you got
but the experience and the road you traveled that got you there.
The people you loved, the good you did, the laughter you imparted
The art you made, the words you said, the music you sang
The love you gave, the forgiveness you showed

The life you lived-
http://www.janiepoetry.com/

Life can be.....whatever you make of it....

-Janie

Idol, poetry and quotes....

Since I've posted poems on my website blog www.janiepoetry.com and Ive posted poems on my blogspot Inkblood poetry I see that I've blogged about American Idol a few times. Well, last week my man Casey Abrams almost got voted off. Needless to say I was mortified! Then I felt real guilty because I was so tired after the show ended I just went to sleep and I didn't vote! Then he didn't get enough votes and was in the bottom three! I know my vote isn't all the important, but then again maybe it is? Anyway, he started singing and the judges stopped him from singing because it's obvious he belongs there. He sang Nirvana last week, no matter what happens Casey is a winner...in my book anyway.

I'll leave you with a quote I posted on my website.

"no longer forward nor behind. I look in hope and fear; but gratefully take the good I find. The best of now and here" -John G. Whittier

Have a great day readers!

Love, Live, Laugh, Create, Make a Change and a Difference-

-Janie

Working on a collections volume...

Hello everyone,

I'm working on a best of collections volume of my poetry. If anyone has an opinion on which poems should be included in this book of 25; I'd be very glad to hear your response.

Thank you

-Janie

American Idol Blog Again....

I can't help myself. I was going to blog about this last night. Is it me or is the new American Idol this year the best one ever? The contestants are really very talented. My mom wants James to be her grandson! James Durbin is a lot of Rock-n-Roll and a little bit Blue's-Pop...And we love it. James sang Bon Jovi- "I'll be there for you" last night.  Lauren Alaina is another favorite, she's sweet, humble and I love how comfortable she seems up on stage. Lauren sang "I'm the only one" by Melissa Etheridge! Paul McDonald is already a star. He has this star quality about him, as if he's already a star and I'm wondering why he's on American Idol when he should already have an album out. He has a raspy voice and can pull off just about anything. He sang "I guess that's why they call it the blues" by Elton John. My husbands favorite and mine as well is Casey Abrams. He has a red beard and lots of hair! He is I would have to say, the most talented one there. He plays various instruments and last night he rocked Nirvana- Smells Like Teen Spirit. He's funny, talented, not afraid to take risks and he doesn't take himself too seriously. And I love it when Jennifer Lopez calls him sexy! Then there is Scotty McCreery with his southern charm. He can make anyone love country!He sang "Can I trust you with my heart" by Travis Tritt. I think a lot of girls would love to have that chance! Then there is Stefano Langone and his sly smile he has a wonderful voice and charm. Last night Stefano sang "If you don't know me by now" by Simply Red and he did a great job singing it!

 PiaToscano sang "Where do broken hearts go" by Whitney Houston and I thought Pia needed to put more soul into it. It was way too much of a ballad for me. Karen Rodriguez sang "Love will lead you back" by Taylor Dayne and that was a bit of a mistake, because Taylor Dayne has a very powerful soulful voice. Not the right choice for Karen. Naima Adedapo is my youngest daughter's favorite. I was pulling for her, but she sang "What's love got to do with it" by Tina Turner and her pitch was very off. Thia Megia is wonderful but I feel may be too young for this competition; she needs to grow a little more to fully understand how to capture an audience. Haley Reinhart seems too nervous all the time when she performs and hasn't been able to find her nitch. Jacob Lusk has a powerful voice, but his performances are so emotional it drains me out to see him perform. He sang  "Alone" by Heart great song!

So my votes go to Paul, James, Stefano, Scotty, Casey, and Lauren. We will see what will unfold tonight.

-Janie

New Poem book entitled "Ticking Clock"

Please visit http://www.janiepoetry.com/ and click on "Ticking Clock" New!

I've just uploaded a new poem book.

Thanks for reading

-Janie

Love and Light/Poem

Love and light

Love and light be there for you

I wish love to surround you

When you feel sorrow on your doorstep

Light to guide you when you can’t find your way home

May you have the strength of Achilles when getting up

For one last round seems like impossibility

Follow your heart and don’t be afraid

Even when the road you’re on is going to give way

Find the strength to power through

Because in the end only you know what’s true

Love and light be there for you

May angels guide you

My love for you is endless and forever

I pray that you may find positive energy

In the midst of darkness

May love and light be there for you always

-Janie

I AM STRONG-POEM

I am strong

I am strong

I am strong don’t mistake the swing of my hips

And my pink lips for something weak and submissive

I am wise, for I know who I am and no one can take that away from me

Do you think of me less, because I have breasts?

Or do you show respect when I walk by?

I am strong. Do you know why?

Because I know my body is capable of many great things

Because I can juggle so many things

No…nothing falls, because I have a great eye

I am strong; don’t mistake my high heels, delicate fingers

And sexy back side; for something other than strength, power,

Intelligence, compassion and love

I can give life, be nurturing and kind

I can also run companies, build buildings, and design master plans

I can take your breath away with a wink of an eye and the strength of my hip

Leave you yearning for more

You know you love me, because I’m not like anything you’ve ever seen

I am strong, not weak

I am worth more than the world sees

I am valuable, a hero unto myself

I am stronger now, yesterday and tomorrow

I am strength, I am woman

-JANIE

Ticking Clock

My life is one big ticking clock
The words in my head, just won't stop
Interruptions, artistic illusions
Cluttering my peaceful mind

Nothing's certain
Everything's a question
Although many people see
Most of them walk around half blind

I'm not gonna ask you
So please don't ask me
The answer to the question
Of life's uncertainties
I'm trying to be kind

My life's one big ticking clock
The words in my head, just won't stop

I run, I pray, I write, I play
Never knowing what cards
will get dealt the next day

Interruptions, artistic illusions
Cluttering my peaceful mind

Do you know how this will end?
I don't know the last words I'll say
I only know I'm on my way

My life's one big ticking clock
The words in my head, just won't stop

Striving and struggling
Reaching and stretching
Giving and taking
Loving and hurting
No, never hating
Believing and writing
Don't we all do this everyday?

Interruptions, artistic illusions
Cluttering my peaceful mind
My life's one big ticking clock
These words in my head just won't stop

Inspirtation, Elevation,
It's all part of God's creation
In my mind I hear such words and rhymes
And it comes spilling out of my mouth and ears;
Floating, traveling through my veins and
Finally to my hand then pen and paper;
Keyboard, Inkblood
It's all so clear

My life's one big ticking clock
And the words in my head, just won't stop

-Janie Zavala

When I go

It all comes down to when I go
I hear my heart beat very slow
Someday's I forget, and I start to fret
Thinking that you're coming home
Dinner isn't done
Oh, no my bed isn't made
And I get a feeling
It isn't very appealing
My bones begin to ache
And I feel my heart break

I'll tell you something
It's been a blast
My life went by so fast
Most days I don't remember
Faces, distant places, memories of long ago

In mostly my dreams, I feel young
I'm with you and you're with me
Our hearts beating wildly
I know even though we're apart
I can tell you we're still hand in hand
And heart to heart, loving each other
Almost back to the start

In a glimpse, I can see
The toil and tragedy
The love and pain
Of the life I lived so pleasantly
It was a gift, not a moment wasted
I'm gratefully exhausted
I seek comfort in my bed
The warm sheets around my aching feet
The comforter surrounds me
And the pillows I shape in the form of you

I forget my train of thought
I know I was in love
It seems like a dream
A dream so long ago

I'll tell you something
It's been a blast
My life went by so fast
Most days I don't remember
Faces, distant places, memories of long ago

written by Janie Zavala

I Will Not Believe-

The ghosts of the past-
Come, creeping, crawling-
Sending back memories to my head-
I tell them to leave, for I will not believe-
That they have power over me-
The ghosts of the past come-
When I can not sleep-
I tell them to go-
But they follow me into my dreams-
So I pray, Please keep them away-
I get scared- I get angry-
And in a final moment of reality-
It comes to me-
They only have power over me-
If I begin to hate-
Get angry and curse and let them run my mind-
So I send them away-
Get happy and say-
I will Not Believe that they have power over me-

Janie

Center of my universe

If I could give you the earth-
If I could rewind time-
I'd eat my words-
If I could peel pack the layers of the years gone by-
I'd give you strength-
I'd hold your hand-

You're beautiful-
You're better than me-
You're wonderful-
You're a strong oak tree-
Center of my universe-
You hold steady, while I blow wild and free-

You take a step back-
When I need some space-
You come close-
When I need a embrace-
You don't always know what to say-
But you guide me in your own way-
I never want you to let me go-
Never say no-

You're beautiful-
You're better than me-
You're wonderful-
You're a strong oak tree-
Center of my universe-
You hold steady, while I blow wild and free-

Trust is hard for me-
I'm reluctant- Always-
Trying to be strong-
Life has taught me different lessons-
You may not understand-
Yet, I need you near me-
I'm still safe in your arms-
And we have our special bond-

My strong oak tree-
Center of my universe-
You hold steady, while I blow wild and free-

written by
Janie Zavala

America Idol Anyone?

My daughter and I watch American Idol every week. I can't believe some of the things people do! It's amazing! The first thing we can't believe, is how people dress. If you're going to be in front of Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez and Randy Jackson and not to mention millions of viewers...wouldn't you dress nice? I'm just sayin'...
The tears, the very bad singing, the tears...but then someone comes along who can sing! And then Steven Tylers' eye's light up and smile creeps upon his face. I love it when he gets mad. What did he say? "Quack a duck and see what hatches?" I love it. And I love Jennifer, she just wants to give everyone a chance and she feels so bad when she has to say no. She'll turn away or tell Steven to say something. Randy can spot talent and he might have the best judgement, because he's not emotional about it. Steven and Jennifer are artists so of course we're emotional. After a good American Idol, we watch Grey's Anatomy. There are not words for it. I've been addicted to it for years. The good thing is now my teenage watches it with me. Okay that's enough talk about t.v.

Have a great day....

-Janie

Inspiration...

Life passes by so fast-
In the blink of an eye-
You make choices-
Follow and disobey some rules-
Learn and forget-
And then learn again-
Try not to take a step backward-
Always pressing on-
Forward-
Although, you may not know what lays ahead-

All we have is time-
To make memories, to keep with us in the end-
All we have are the choices we make-
To remind us to live every day as if it were our last-

Time goes by-
There's no turning back-
You've got time to burn-
I've got so much more to learn-
I'm torn apart-
Wish I could go back to the start-
I've made mistakes-
And I know you've got what it takes-
To see me through to the other side-

All we have is time-
To make memories, to keep with us in the end-
All we have are the choices we make-
To remind us to live every day as if it were our last-

Written by Janie Zavala

My head has been captured by a cold...

I apologize up front, because I feel like my head is in the clouds. I have a head cold or sinus cold. Whatever you want to call it. I haven't been writing because I haven't felt good. Plus, it was Super Bowl weekend. I have been thinking of the books I'm writing every day and I've been taking it easy so that I can get back to one hundred percent! It's Monday so I feel this need to get back to work.

I usually blog about the game the day after. I love football. It's heart, power, mistakes, perseverance, injuries, tackles, fumbles. It's life. It's life on a field. I'm alone in my house when it comes to football. No one pays attention, but me. Last year I had my niece with me and we watched it together. She's grown up now and forgotten my name....lol. Anyway, I watched it this year with my mother! Yes my mom, who knows a little about the game. She was so cute, yelling at the screen "Go Green Pack!" in her Tex-Mex accent. We both wanted to hurt "Nelson" from Green Bay. I mean can you catch a football? What was up with that! We were doing great 20 to 10 and then the Steelers scored two touch downs back to back. In the end Green Bay won with 31 and Steelers 25. It was a great game.

Two teams battling it out; the football seemed to have a mind of it's own at times. I'm from Texas, even though I left as a kid. I still have plenty of family there and it's against family rules to be for any other team, except for the Dallas Cowboys. So I dutifully wore my Cowboys jersey as did my brother, sister-in-law and I'm sure my sister wore her shirt to work. I had to root for Green Bay, because rooting for the Steelers is out of the question. Period. That would be like a betraying the Cowboys, considering their history. Also, that Aaron Rodgers is easy on the eyes! Sorry I'm a girl and he's cute! Regardless of what team you root for or where you come from. Super Bowl Sunday is a great day and it's always exciting to watch!

 I hope everyone had a good weekend. We have a new week, into the second month of a new year. From Golden Globes, to Screen Actors Guild, to Super Bowl Sunday, and now we have the Oscars! I know, I'm a blend of contradictions.

-Janie

Within my blue walls....

In my room-
Within my blue walls-
I post-
I pray-
I sometimes need help facing the day-
I write-
The Aunt, The Sister, The Daughter, The Wife, The Mother, Bill Payer, Household Maker, Nurturer, Giver....and hmmmm......writer....she's here somewhere....she's lost and found and lost again....
Within my blue walls....
She's in the eye of a storm....
If only for a moment-
She knows it will pass-
I'll wait for her to figure it out-
Within my blue walls-

-Janie

Sorry, it's been a while....

I've been real busy writing my novel. It's a turning point right now and I hope to be done with it soon. I've also started a new novel and I'm very excited about that, because it is such a contrast to the other one I'm writing. They are opposite in character and setting. I'm still working on my new year's resolutions. I'm stuck at a certain weight with my "eating healthy" I'm so focused all day sitting in my chair writing; I need to incorporate some cardio work outs! When I feel I've been sitting down too long I open the door to my room and go up and down the stairs a few times! I've got to go back to writing my book now....

Have a great day!

-Janie

Busy, Busy.....

Here is a recipe for a home facial

Juice from a orange: (squeeze the juice from an orange and apply to your face, like you would an astringent. Your skin will soak up the juice and you will feel your skin tighten.)
Vitamin E.  (open a capsule and apply to problem area's and underneath your eyes. This helps with dark circles)
Omega 3's: (open a capsule and apply all over face. It will give your skin a glow and helps with elasticity) You can also apply it to your hair and it will add shine.)
Neutrogena Helioplex Sunblock: It is very important to use sunblock even in winter. The sun ages and adds wrinkles to your skin. You can still get extra vitamin D by sitting in the sun for 15 minutes but you should still wear sunblock.

This is my secret....it works....

Janie

It's been a while...

Yes, well my sister had the "Roll Incident" and I had the "Tortilla Incident" She came in the kitchen and decided to reach for a croissant and my daughter told her to "put it down!" lol....I reached for a freshly home made tortilla yesterday and my daughter made me put it back and then let me have half of one....lol! Man I wanted the whole tortilla. I'm not losing weight as fast as I'd like because I'm sitting down most of the day on my computer. My sister and I are going to go for walks every day. Yesterday, we went for a walk. My mom wanted to go to CVS because she had a five dollar coupon. My older Nora said she'd give my mom and I and my sister Leticia a ride over there. So we all pile into her car. Nora begins to compare mine and Leticia's butt....saying mine is much bigger....so then she asks my mom and my mom pleads the 5th! As we drive off, Leticia notices that CVS is far away! Her face goes pale as we pass Walgreen's. She thought we were going to Walgreen's, which is just down the street from us. I ask her if she thinks it's too far. She says no. I ask her if she can walk that long and she says "yes" but shakes her head in the "no" position. As we get out of the car, my sister Nora says to call her when we're out and she will come by and pick us up. We are in CVS for around 20 minutes, looking at makeup and lotions. My mom buys the things she needs and gets five dollars off. We walk out and the sky is a beautiful light blue with shreds of light pink streaking the sky. We declare that we will not call to be picked up and that we can walk home.My mom says we should cross the street. I wonder why and tell her we dont' have to cross until much later. She says no we can take the short cut through Albertsons. I think to myself Albertsons is the complete opposite direction we are going in. I see that she's gotten herself all mixed up as to where we are. I convince her that we must go straight and not cross the street. I feel responsible for my sister and for my mom. I'm looking to see if there are cars coming as we cross the streets and I walk on the edge of the side walk. We stop every now and then to look at the sky. We talk about, girdles and hernia's and God and the bible and how beautiful the sky is. As we start to cross over into another side walk. I hear birds, lots of birds making a fuss in a tree across the street. We stop to listen and wonder what is going on. As we keep walking I look to see how my mom is doing and I see that she is cold and tell her to put her wrap around her head. I see that she sometimes walks a little crooked and wonder if she's dizzy. I think to myself; "what would I do if mom can't make it all the way home? I'll have to call my sister Linda who would give us a lecture as to why did we walk this far with mom! So I'm careful to make sure she's okay. We stop and cross the street  and then wait for the light to change to cross again. Just then a big truck passes by and wind blows at my mother, making her get off balance. I then stand in front of her making sure I get the wind and not her. We start laughing. We cross the street and I make sure we are all in the cross walk. My sister Nora had warned up about crossing the street because she says no one stops and give pedestrians the right of way in Vegas and to be extra careful. We cross the street with no incidents. Then as we walk I see that my mom looks tired and out of breath. I ask her if she's okay. She says she just wants to get home. As we pass by some houses, we smell roses or flowers blooming. My sister and mom declare that God sent us flowers and roses for our walk. It starts to get dark and I wonder how my girls are at home. I feel the need to walk fast and get home to see them. I ask if I should go ahead of them to get home and see the girls. When I purpose this, my sister looks faint and my mom looks lost. I say okay I'll stay. We begin to joke how if I left them they would get lost and turn in the wrong neighborhood and wonder for hours. I would then have to go look for them and tell everyone what happened and we would all get  into trouble, mainly me....lol... So are almost home and we pass a community of houses, we have to cross to get to the other side of the sidewalk. I see a car coming fast, as we walk across I make sure he sees us and put my hand up making sure he stops. Anger rises fast with in me. Why was he driving so fast, through a neighborhood. I make sure to give him a look. My mom and sister are oblivious to this. I begin to think why do people do this, it's dark and you don't know who is walking, you could so easily run someone over if your not careful. It really gets me mad, when I see people driving fast through residential neighborhoods. I decide to let it go and just make it my mission to get them home. As we turn the corner I see a white truck and think it's Linda my sister and how she would get so mad if she saw us walking at night in the cold with mother! My sister Leticia says she's thinking the same thing. We joke how we would just tell her we went to Walgreen's. But we are holding CVS bags! Oh, and my sister says Walgrens, not Walgreen's. So we finally make the turn and are in close to home. I see that my mom is increasingly walking crooked. I walk on the street to give them more room on the side walk. As we get home, we laugh and say well we got spent mom's five dollar coupon....even if it almost killed us! We get home and my daughter looks at us and laughs....she said we had funny looks on our faces. She was sitting at home thinking CVS is really far away!

That was our adventure yesterday! I have a very eccentric, quirky, funny, and strange family. I love them so....I'm thinking of writing a book based on our family characters. I was going to call it The Functional-Dis functional....sorta like the movie Little Miss Sunshine!

And that's all I have to say about that....

janie

It's Friday!

It's been a long week, but it flew by fast. I'm looking forward to this weekend. Sunday is the Golden Globes and Saturday my family is going to volunteer at Heaven Can Wait dog shelter. So we've got some things going on for the weekend. My goals are slowing getting closer in sight. My "eating healthy" is going great and I'm writing every day. I need to make time to read though. I have to take a bit more time, writing in my book. I cleaned the whole house today and went for a walk. It was a nice sunny day, for a change it wasn't freezing outside. I'm feeling good and hope to continue on this path.

I'm going to leave you with an Amelia Earhart quote.

"Never do things others can do and will do; if there are things others cannot do or will not do" -Amelia Earhart

Live, Love, Laugh, Create, Make a Change
www.janiepoetry.com

Another day to start all over...

I really messed up this past weekend and I'm having a hard time trying not to beat myself up about it. I did gain, but then I quickly lost it right away. I just feel like I should be making more progress. I'm vowing to have a great "healthy eating" day today. I'm off to a great start. Also I feel great about my writing. My hubpages is doing great. I'm getting more followers and meeting interesting writers. I do have a lot to do today. I've posted Faith and I am strong on my blogs. I like to post a poem on each thing I write.  Instead I'm going to leave you with a excerpt of a chapter in the book I'm writing.
Here goes:

My house seems foreign to me, it feels stale and cold. I reach for the light switch in the darkness. Clumsily I lug my suitcase up the stairs. I pass the closed doors of my children’s rooms. The wheels of the suitcase running against the hard wood floor come to an abrupt stop. I reach for the door knob and I’m surprised by what I see. The bed isn’t made and my clothes are all over the room. There are bags, purses and suitcases spread on the side of my bed and on my dresser. I remember being in a hurry to leave with Ben. If Joe had been here I would of made the bed and I wouldn’t of made such a mess. He hated to leave the bed un-made and he hated the way I packed. My cell phone rings in my purse. I can’t find it, I begin to take everything out of my purse. Wallet, make up bag, keys, gum, glasses, lotion, hand sanitizer. Aha! There it is!

This is just a small paragraph taken from my book. Does it make you want to read more? My goal is to finish this book this year. I hope you all like it.

-Janie

It's Wednesday already

I'm sorry I didn't write over the weekend. Saturday we ended up renting movies and buying groceries. Sunday we went to the Circus and then went to the movies and went to my niece's birthday party. I of course, deviated from my "eating healthy!" remember I don't like the word "diet"
Anyway, I ate pizza, and cake and a turkey sandwich and a lot of other stuff that I shouldn't have eaten. It's funny cause, I did gain a pound and then I lost it right away. So no harm done. I'm eating healthy today, that's for sure. I'm still working towards all my goals for this year. I've already written in my blog that's on my website and I posted a new poem on hubpages and now all that's left is to write a few couple pages in my book. I should start working on my new poem book and I should update a new poem on my website. I have to run some errands today and clean the house, do laundry and a bunch of other stuff. What I really want to do is work on a new cookbook! I'd like to know what goals or resolutions other people have. So please feel free to comment either on my blog that is on www.janiepoetry.com or this blog. Writing every day and eating healthy is on my top to do list, and then come the other goals. Although, they are all important.
I hope everyone has a great, positive, productive day.

-Janie
I usually like to leave my blogs with a poem.
I posted "I will not believe" on hubpages and I just quoted "The Tourist" on my other blog. Great movie by the way. So I'm going to leave you with "Stranger" It's a new poem on my new poem book that's entitled "Paris or Rome" on my website.

Stranger-

There's a stranger in my house-
She's angry, bitter and mean-
I've seen her before, seems like a dream-
Her mind races to places-
I've erased-
Let go of-
Faces I don't want to see-

There's a stranger in my house-
No it's not me-
I'm positive and strong-
And I know that truth of light, dwells within me-

There's a stranger in my house-
She's over emotional-
She's in the past-
I've got to get rid of her-
Throw her to the sea-
I know she doesn't want to be here-

I have to move forward-
Take the next step-
Climb the mountains-
Pass the bullets-
Meet the lightening-
Got to reach the other side-

The stranger's left my house-
Will she come back?-
Only in moments of weakness-
I've got to remain strong-
And sweep out the dust she left behind-

Janie Zavala

I wrote this recently when I was making my latest poem book. It's about staying positive even when you feel doubt cluttering your mind. I like this poem because every time I read it I feel like there's a story I could write behind this poem. It's mysterious, but if you pay close attention; you can see the meaning behind the poem.

Live, Love, Laugh, Create, Make a Change....

www.janiepoetry.com

New Years Resolutions

Hello world,
What's new? For me many things....
I've been writing about my new years resolutions on my blog; that's on my website. Some of the resolutions are to lose weight, finish my book that I'm writing, blog daily, read, laugh more, swear less. lol. I've started on eating healthy. I feel great and I've lost 3 pounds already. I'm just eliminating sugars, like cookies and for now I'm eliminating white breads. I've added more vegetables and fruit to my diet and whole grains. I feel great and I have more energy. I am starting to go for small brisk walks every day. I went today with my sisters and it was great. I'm buckling down on my writing, setting time aside every day to write. I feel focused and good. I find that each year I would start a resolution and then let it go after a month or two. This year, I am hopefully going to stick to it and it will help that I'm blogging about it. Please, feel free to share you're thoughts and goals for the new year. I'm also keeping a journal. I write down everything I eat and then I go to www.acaloriecounter.com and I add up my calories for the day. It's a great way to keep track of what you are eating. I find that I used to eat with out thinking. For example, I would just eat two cookies, and french bread and a sandwich. I wasn't eating vegetables or fruit on a daily basis. I was bloated and tired every day. It was hard a first and it still is.... sometimes I walk into the kitchen and smell cookies. I have a seven year old, who loves croissants and I  baked her some, and boy was it hard not to eat a whole bunch of them! Instead, I made myself a salad filled with green leaf and red leaf lettuce, tomato and carrots, celery and cilantro and I had a baked chicken thigh. I felt so good afterward and I had so much energy.  I don't need the croissant. I'm also trying not to eat after 7:00pm. If I do it's just celery or something good for my body. I'm not in anyway, advocating this for everyone. I'm just blogging about what I'm doing to try to keep myself healthy. I need to be a good girl now and write on my other websites.

I'll leave you with a poem. Dedicated to my daughters

Sunshine

When you smile-
You light up the room-
And when you laugh-
I can't help but laugh too-
You have a way of making me feel-
Things will be alright-
To me- you're my sunshine-
To me- you're my world-
Sunshine, sweet sunshine-
Smile for me one more time-
You're love fills me up-
You're smile makes my day-
You're laughter gives me joy-
And I wonder how lucky I am-
To have you, to hold you-
You're my sunshine-
You're all I need-
Sunshine-
Sweet Sunshine-
Smile for me one more time-

-Janie Zavala